Shadow

Today I cried. It was the first time in a really, really long time. Today I received the news (via email) that Shadow has died. For those who don't know, Shadow was our cat. She was not an affectionate cat to those who would visit. Even though she was a tiny black cat, she actually inspired fear in some of our visitors. My theory was always that she was afraid of visitors, and thus her aggression was actually just a manifestation of that fear. The only two people in the world who got to see another side of Shadow were Scott and myself. To us, she was quite often affectionate. She would constantly jump on our laps, and want to be held. She would purr loudly, and stroke her head against us. She would jump up on a chair and play a game with us that we started when she was a kitten. To me, she was often a loving pet. She always had a bit of attitude, but I loved her none the less.

At this point I don't even know how or why she died, I only know that I will never see her again, and that I wasn't there when she was dying. I am quite wrecked about it all. Of course it's all amplified by the fact that I'm very unhappy in my current situation (on the ship). But I'm sure I would've been wrecked either way. Shadow may have been the terror of our apartment, but to me she was special, and I will miss her greatly.